One of us

"But for both UKIP and Veritas, the core psychological challenge is stark: how on earth do you convince even a handful of floating voters that all you are advocating is common sense, when only 1% of the population agrees with you? The only viable option is to preach the message of the religious cult: everybody else is living in a dream world; only an enlighrened few are yet awake." Oliver Burkeman.

Two weeks of polling and we're spent; but remember, one monkey don't stop the show

I feel a regular feature coming on, quoting daily from Simon Hoggart. Today he was commenting on the Paxman-Blair interview last night. Anyone watch it? He was on top form (Paxman that is), but he did begin to get annoying near the end.

"Heaven knows how Torquemada, the head of the Spanish Inquisition, would have coped with Tony Blair. Jeremy Paxman must have wondered at times during his Newsnight special interview with the prime minister last night.
'Ha! Do you repent the sin of heresy?'
'Look, I don't think the people of medieval Spain are particularly concerned with that issue. I think what they want to know about are economic growth, high employment, and low mortgage rates on their miserable hovels.'
Paxman had the early running. He has developed the poached egg-eyed stare, expressing incredulity beyond comprehension. ('You think the earth revolves around the sun? Are you mad?')...

...Paxman has also developed dazzling glasses ploys. They are put on to examine the documents for the prosecution, as in: 'In 2001, you told us, and I quote...' Then they are whipped off to suggest fathomless scepticism. In their absence he utilises the eyebrows and mouth, pursed into a cynical moue, or the left hand, jammed into the temple, as if his brain needed re-booting after downloading so much nonsense."

'Letwin is nice' shocker!

Simon Hoggart's piece on Oliver Letwin on Monday was, as always, very amusing. He was following Oliver Letwin (shadow chancellor) around his constituency. Apparently, he's really nice! In fact, it did remind me of when David Blunkett resigned and Letwin was saying all this lovely stuff about him (apparently, he wasn't returning the favour).

"Mr Letwin reckons the villages break about 60-40 for him, against the Liberal Democrat, who's a close challenger. 'I haven't met her, but I gather she's very nice,' he says."

My word! What a lovely chap.

"If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow"

Mary got me the Labour manifesto for my birthday, and today I bought the Tory one. Waterstones didn't have the Lib Dem manifesto, but i'll be getting that when it's available. The Labour one is readable, quite accessible, but with enough detail to really be worth the read, whereas the Tory one is a bunch a slogans. Well, who saw that one coming?

Having said that, I think the front cover to the Tory manifesto (though it's had a bit of stick) is actually quite striking (in case you haven't seen it, it's six slogans - their focus policies - in various different handwritten styles; y'know, to appeal to us common folk).

I also bought, in preparation for the election party, 'Politico's Guide to the General Election 2005'. I love it, it's got lots of statistics and charts - very exciting!

He's simple, he's dumb, he's the pilot

Politics.co.uk are updating their policy section as the manifestos come out. As mentioned before, it gives you an opportunity to look at all the various daft promises without some of the bludgeoning electioneering. I recommend it highly.

This morning, by the photocopier

I have just completed Ian McEwan's fantastic novel, 'Atonement'. I feel a mixture and fear, elation, depression, and anxiety at the thought of writing any further with my novel.
It is a stupendous book, and I don't know who won the 2001 Booker Prize (for which 'Atonement' was nominated) but i'd like to think it must be fucking good.

I'd like to copy out some passages, but it is so magnificently unquoteable; like a suffocating blanket, it swallows you whole. He has the incredible gift of making it sound so simple, too. Which I think is the gift of any great English writer. Alan Holinghurst has a similar talent, though nowhere near the strength to move you. McEwan coils his fingers around your neck and slowly, yet with perseverence, leaves you breathless.

I was weeping in the final chapter, when Briony searches out her sister to right her wrong. The tension of five long years weighted on all three of the characters' shoulders.

Cap in hand

There is, perhaps, very little a politician does or says that is completely unrelated to a vote somewhere. And that's before an election is called. I've signed up to take part in a project the New Politics Network (a cross party think tank: see link) are running, whereby I record all the contact I receive from the various political parties, whether leaflets, phone calls, texts, or door-to-door visits. I then send back all the hard copy I receive, and they collate the information for their study, assessing the amount and quality of electioneering.

So far, I've only received one leaflet, from the lovely Spencer Pitfield. Fear mongering twat.

Just to remind anyone, I'm still well up for hosting an election party; I'm currently thinking up the various sweep stakes we can run (any suggestions welcome).